The Bogus Witch Project
by 9We're All Mad Here6
Summary: Three teens go to the forest 10 years after the second movie... and they screw it up.
1. Chapter 1

Dum Dum DUUUUUUUM! A new story from me! Hoprfully, this one won't stink as much as the past few.

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**The Bogus Witch Project**

"Come on! Speed up the van!"

"Quit whining! I told you that we would be in here for a long time!"

"Both of you shut up! You're disrupting my aura!" A girl cried at the two guys. She was around seventeen with short brown hair, bright green eyes, and a slim figure. She was dressed in brown and green clothes with jeans, a jade necklace with some kind of little symbol carved in it, and she had her ears pierced a few times.

"Okay, whatever Blair," the guy driving muttered. He too looked about seventeen, maybe older, we would tell you his hair color, but he always wore this stupid blue beanie and made sure ALL his hair was under it. Maybe he's bald or something. His eye color can't be distinguished because he wears frickin' SUNGLASSES. Is this guy running from the police or something? He was wearing a dark brown trenchcoat, black boots, and black jeans. He never wore a shirt. This guy is a freak.

"My name is not Blair!" the girl cried, "It's Vira, flower of the sun." Vira leaned back in her seat and tried to reach "Mother Earth", which is the last place she's ever gonna be.

A/N: In case you couldn't tell, "Vira" is a parody of the Wicca girl in **The Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows**.

"Okay El Vira."

"GRRRRRR! May the creatures of the Earth spare your soul from eternal torment!"

"...what did she say?" the third guy said, finally making himself noticable. He too was wearing a beanie, but you could see his dark brown hair poikng out from under it, so it wasn't as weird. He was wearing a red T-shirt, blue jacket, and jeans with numerous holes in it. This is probably the only hot guy we will see in this fic.

"It's a curse. A dark curse. One that only Wiccas know," she laughed.

"Please, you're about as Wicca as a Pope is Jewish. And what is an aura?" he asked.

"Jake, it's a form of emotion," she said simply. The boy in the red, Jake, blinked and just leaned back in his seat.

"If I had known I'd get paired up with this freak, I'd have taken a '0' on this project," Jake muttered to the guy next to him. He just simply looked at her in the backseat and shrugged at his remark.

"I like her... she has... charm," he said softly. jake rolled his eyes and glared.

"Whatever, just don't go all Teenage-Puppy-Luv on me. You're the only other one in this care with real sense."

"Be quiet. You don't know her very well," he growled. Vira looked up at the guy driving.

"By the way, the teacher- or you- never told us your name. What is it?" she asked.

"It's-"

"We're here!" Jake yelled, excited. He grabbed his camera and rushed out.

"Slow down!" Vira yelled, annoyed. The guy in the trenchcoat silently got the rest of the equipment and followed. The three stopped in their tracks and smiled.

**THIS WAY TO THE BLAIR FOREST, WARNING SERIAL KILLERS LIVE HERE**


	2. Chapter 2

Eek! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I forgot I even wrote this story. How smart am I?

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"-**Serial Killers? **Are they serious?" the guy in the trenchcoat asked. Vira and Jake ignored him and ran into the woods. 

"Wait! We forgot the food! Where do I park this hunka junk?" he yelled after them.

In the woods...

"You know, I feel like we're actually in the movie," Jake said, turning his camera on and waving it around real fast. "Omigod! Evil Serial killer ghost! Eeee!" Vira hit him with her camera.

"Hey! Don't break it! It's that other guy's!" he whined. Vira ignored him and took photos of the trees.

"Wow... It's so... uplifting... I never thought I would get this close to somewhere as full of nature as this," she sighed. Jake blinked.

"Haven't you ever been camping before? You know, when you were a kid?" he asked. Vira shook her head and her eyes twinkled.

"No, I never left the house, but it's better than I thought!"

"Yeesh, what kinda Wicca are you? What'd you do? Talk to your mom's potted plants?" Vira's eyes moved from side to side.

"...Maybe," she said quickly before walking a little faster. Jake shook his head and turned around. The other guy was walking up the hill, carrying everything on his back.

"Hey! Hurry up... um... Whatever your name is!" Jake shouted. The guy growled and proceeded to yell:

"MY NAME IS-"

The sound of Vira screaming grabs their attention. The guy drops everything he has and runs to the screaming. Jake whines because his Cheetos are smushed and all of the cigarettes he packed have been smoked for some mysterious reason.

"OH MY GOD!" Vira started screaming and pointed to a bloody mess on the ground.

"What happened here?" the guy asked. She sobbed and held out her finger to him.

"I sniff sniff broke a naaaaaill! Waaaah!" she sobbed.

Guy and Jake: X.X

"I mean, what happened with the blodd?" he asked.

"Haha! The authoress mispelled 'blood'!" Jake laughed. The authoress glares darkly at the screen and begins to write ways to kill Jake for making fun of her oh-so-beautiful typos.

"What blood? Oh! I didn't notice this!" Vira chirped. The guy rolled his eyes and looked down.

"Probably just a squirrel, let's go," he said. Vira happily followed and Jake tried to smoke a used cigarette, which he shouldn't have because he's under eighteen! Seventeen and a half does NOT round up to eighteen when it deals with age, if it did, I would be driving around in a kickass car right now. Thank you.

"I don't think it's a squirrel man," Jake said. Vira turned around.

"Yeah, I bet it was one of the victims of Russel Parr's ghost!" Vira giggled. Jake put on a fake scared face.

"What? You mean he's still here! Noooo! I'm too young and handsome to diiiiiie! I wanna go home! Waaaah!" Jake moaned. Vira was laughing her butt off, but the other guy sighed and looked away.

"I hope you two go first..." he muttered.

"Pardon?" asked Jake. The guy looked up, realizing he was thinking aloud.

"Erm... Ah... He look! A duck!" he said, pointing up. Vira clapped.

"Yaaaaay! Let's eat it!" she said.

"You don't eat ducks, you're a vegetarian!" he said, "Meat bad for you."

"Ducks aren't meat! They're water fowl!" she argued.

"Is there a difference?" the guy asked. Jake shrugged and pointed at the sky.

"It's getting dark, let's set up camp."

"'Kay."

"Whatever."

Jake looked into his lens one last time before turning it off.

"Our first night in the Blair Witch Forest begiiiiiiins!"

"Jake, there's a spider on your shoulder."

"Waaaaaaaaaah!"

Camera goes off now.


End file.
